Does A New Year Really Mean Anything?

I mean, unless you really want a change in your life, then New Year's just another awkward holiday where you have to celebrate just because the calendar says so. I mean, we human beings think we're so smart, and yet we take orders from a calendar...

Anyway, don't mind me. It's just my typical New Year's Anxiety. Whilst most people get this because of all the party preparations and the anxiety regarding change, I'm anxious because I can feel that it will be a very awkward night tonight. If you know my family's situation, you'll understand why. Long story short: My family isn't really the happy type of family. My immediate family doesn't socialise much with relatives, so our New Years' Parties usually consist of a maximum of maybe seven people. And since these seven people do not usually get along well (and sometimes the holidays make it even worse), parties tend to be awkward. Par exemple, we all don't know what to do once it's midnight as we don't pop corks and do other similar things. In fact, the 'liveliest' we can actually get is when we jump around like idiots shouting 'It's <insert year here>!' (The jumping part is an annoying tradition in our family as jumping on New Years' Eve is believed to make you grow taller. I know, I know.)

Even forever alone guy gets to have better parties than that.

I mean, sure, I love my family and all, but it gets really awkward and... 'cheesy', you know? And it's not even cheesy in an aww-I-luffles-you-gaiz way. Nope. It's the uhh-let's-act-happy-because-it's-New-Year sort of cheesy. Just thinking about it makes me shudder.

Anyway, I know that complaining about this is a really bitchy thing to do, so to make up for my severe bitchiness I shall list down things I'm grateful for that's related to this whole New Year thing.

I'm grateful for the food we get to eat, the company we have (even if it's awkward company), the effort everyone gives for this holiday even if I don't believe in it... Well, let's just say I'm grateful that I still have reasons to celebrate New Year's Eve, that's all. (Even if I don't want to.)

So, Happy New Year everyone! Remember, it's nothing to stress yourself about. Happiness doesn't come from the ability to throw the party—it comes from the ability to enjoy the party you've thrown, whether it's successful or not. I love you all and let's treat 2012 nicely. (Sorry, but I hate it when people say 'Let's hope 2012 will be good to us.' Guys, we control our lives, okay? These are just numbers we use to keep ourselves organised.)

Above all holiday greetings, I want you to know that you don't need a calendar or the system setting a date for you to celebrate with me. The fact that I'm in a positive relationship with you is enough cause for celebrations. So, what I want to say is that, New Year or not, I wish you lots of happiness and love. <3

Okay, I am confuzzled. (Introducing Haku)

So I'm comparing the interface of this blog's 'New Post' page to my other blog's 'New Post' page and I've just realised that this interface is the old-school one. Why's that so? I is confuzzled. Anyway, whatevs. Feel free to edit anything, guys. Even the description I wrote at the sidebar or the design and layout of the site. As long as you think it'd work for all of us, then go ahead. You know that I'm totes chill about this. xD

Anyway, another thing that's confuzzling me at the moment is You-Know-Who. Since You-Know-Who is such a long-arse name to type, let's call him by the nickname Haku (I shall explain this later when I'm in the mood to do so). So Haku and I have been texting tonight, and he mentioned how there were so many fucking stars on the beach. Being a stargazing enthusiast, words were not enough to describe my jealousy. So I told him, 'I hate you, bitch.' Well, guess what he said in reply?

He said, 'If it's any consolation, I wish you were here.'

Okay.

Okay.

Fuck. What do I say?

I'm really good at insulting people. Especially the ones I love the most. (Just today, I think I absent-mindedly insulted a tissue poet, and I hope she forgives me for that.) It's not that I'm this cruel and damn insensitive bitch, it's just that it's hard for me to express emotions in a sweet way. (As I type the word sweet, a million shudders go through my spine and my skin. Eugh.) So it's been more than an hour and I still haven't replied to him. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to type. I'm left speechless, with this blank expression on my face. What the ef.

I think I'm also surprised. If I show affection using insults, Haku shows affection by making fun of me. And annoying me. And frustrating me. And by doing many other grade school stuff. You know we're being 'sweet' to each other when he starts to call me a 'douche' and I call him a 'bitch' (It's an inside joke). So when things like this happen—when all the 'sweetest' words are said, I don't know how to react. I suppose you could say I'm caught off-guard.

So, what do I say?

Option A: Meh, you know you'll get sick of seeing me once you start seeing me a lot when school starts lol. XD But thanks.

Option B: You know I'm always there in spirit. *cuetwilightzonetheme* fwahaha

Option C: O RLY

Option D: Are you drunk?

Argh why am I so awkward when it comes to texts. >< Help me out, guys?

xoxo,

Chihiro

UPDATE:

I decided to go with Option B minus the fwahaha. Because I'm a bitch and I don't know how to be sweet. But I still want to make him smile.

UPDATE 2.0:

So I've added a page about me, and there's even a layout that you guys can use for your own 'About the Author' pages as well. You can add pages by clicking 'Edit Posts' on your dashboard, then from there you'll see link that'd lead you to 'Edit Pages'. Click on the 'Create A New Page' button. Hope this helps, and don't hesitate to text me if you're confuzzled. :3