Weird Dream Strikes Late at Night

I barely remember when was the last time I had a dream. (Its a given that everyone dreams about 4-6 times when they sleep but I don't recall most of mine anyway.) I had a dream. And its almost the most exact, precise, random thing on earth...

My dream was about a certain seafood, (you can ask me questions if you guys still don't know who I'm talking about.) whom I took time to avoid due to personal reasons. We don't talk anymore, or text, or call each other. We have simply stopped reaching out to each other. I don't keep his number, and he (I think) does not keep mine either (I reckon, maybe.) I am certain that I was not thinking about anyone before sleep. So it is a little too weird if you guys tell me that I am exhausting the idea of him.

My dream bordered on the extremes--- sex and abstinence. Which is also a weird theme cause number one (1) why would I be having weird fantasies about a guy whom I do not talk to anymore, and number (2) why would I have that as a general theme? Its a little too RH bill, and I was no where near that bill discussion lately...

I will now proceed to disclosing my dream... (not too sure about the order but I believe it went this way...)

I was with seafood, at a mall. Originally I thought I was alone, watching people skate (that narrows down the malls we were in) but something happened and suddenly he was there. We were talking about books, not sure why though, we never actually talk about books. Usually we would talk about his relationship problems, my culinary skills, and fashion (a common interest.) How I never maintained my own library instead I give them away after over exhausting them (or never reading them at all.) And then all of a sudden it was making-out-in-a-corner (which is weird cause there ain't no malls with a corner where noone can see you.) But it happened. With certain focuses on certain things. We were still talking, like discussing a crime in a hushed down tone. That's when I realized I was wearing UST AB's uniform. (TALK ABOUT WEIRD!) I have no intention of ever being caught dead in one, unless if its like me trying to cosplay as a UST kid which is rather unlikely if you ask me. And for the fear of getting caught (cause we were in a discussion and suddenly Chihiro's name was dropped in there, massive cover up of how she was skating.) we flee. He looks down at the rink (obviously looks like we were at MOA). Which would mean we were at the second floor. He only sees three skaters all females and asks me which is Chihiro. I see everyone's backs, and poof* there you are, but I didn't get to point you out. We fled, to what seems like a bazaar, he sat at a desk, the lady selling said the tour was starting, we ran to the vehicle after a long corridor of people selling, and come out at an alley that looks like the outside of a provincial filipino talipapa/ tiangge, I point out where the vehicle is, but we dodge that and ride a jeep instead. (I didn't have any money.) He  paid again. And then we left. The jeep was going to Amorante/ Amoranto? And something about novaliches was being discussed. We then see St. Louis a college in Baguio. There was a nun looking at me. 

My dream ends with an idea, given to me by a nun... (Although nuns exist, my religion does not actually believe in them or their use in the society, we do not pray to the Holy virgin mother of Christ.)

Pray together. Stay together. Abstinence. (words were not said, but the idea was clearly delivered to my head.)

Some details are missing in the story but I dunno, I remember them but I can't place them in the sequence.

Off to take my midterms now. :)

xxx,

K <3

Comes back to me

In your confidence I pour my heart out. I can not even finish a whole sentence without crying. :) But that's fine, after a bucket of tears this post will be done

I realized I haven't a time in my life where I am alone, and without a boyfe (no labels or anything). And after the last one the guy from BioSoc, I haven't been around the block (kudos for me) but I have seen one or two guys over the whole period. So I see that as an unhealthy sign. And so, you as my witness, I vow to no longer see or date guys until I have fully recovered.

 I really think I can no longer keep on running away from this guy. He keeps haunting me. And I just feel the same ache every time. Half of me still keeps wishing he comes back to me. In that note I wanna share Kate Miller Heidke's song Last Day On Earth the lyrics just it speaks of what I feel, and what goes on with me. In my head, in my dreams, in everything really.

I want to write lyrics as beautiful as she does. Its just this calm play of words but the message hits you like a dynamite booming on your face.

Feeling better now. :)

untitled

He touches me. I have been sleeping with him for the longest time. Every night (or at least almost) for the past two weeks we sleep together I feel him.

He touches me and I am safe. I open my eyes. He's gone.

The Price You Pay For Enlightenment.

I know I haven't finished my Hasa Diga Eebowai review yet, but I want to type this down before I get too lazy. Hasa Diga Eebowai can wait. This is something of extreme weirdness to me, and I know I should perhaps be somehow frightened but I'm only puzzled and I don't know what to make of this at all.

Yesterday afternoon upon arriving at the flat, I plopped down the bed and immediately fell asleep. It was around 5:30pm if I'm not mistaken. I only wanted to take a short nap, but it ended up descending into a deep slumber and so I slept till 12:40am. I suppose I've got my REM stage to blame for it. Normally I'm like meh about my dreams, but for some reason last night's dream really struck me in a bizarre way. What was even weirder is that I was lucid, and yet I didn't try to change anything about it. Here goes.

The setting was at my university. Being lucid in the dream, I knew that it was set in the future. Most of my friends have already graduated, but they were on their way to pick me and Mystique up after the rally. There was a new president, you see, and along with the new presidency was the new government. My schoolmates weren't very happy about it, as the president (who's a local female celebrity) had declared that the country will go from questionable democracy to utter fascism. I was part of those who were against it, but since 80% of the school population were protesting anyway the government decided to eradicate all students, professors and other random people in my school completely. So the military went to attack the school and proceeded to kill everyone. I hid in random places with Mystique until we could finally escape from the school. When we finally got to escape, we tried to seek refuge in certain places but we couldn't stay there for long since the military knew that we were still alive. At some point we had to hide inside lockers in an abandoned building when the military came to look for us. We even tried to hitch a ride to the province, but no one wanted to take us since it was really dangerous. Finally, out of despair and exhaustion, I surrendered to the military when they looked for us in a department store. I was shot in the chest, and then everything faded into white. Since I knew it was a dream, I was right when I presumed that I won't really die and that there'll be another scene. So in the next scene I found myself waking up in a Victorian Spanish-style mansion. A middle-aged lady was taking care of me, and Mystique immediately came to see me when I woke up. That's when I saw all the others who have graduated by then—Pretty Girl, Delirium, Kamen Rider and Haku. Apparently they all got injured in the massacre, but the injuries weren't fatal or anything. Then I tried to peek outside and I saw that we were actually inside a tree. That's when my flatmate came back, so I woke up.

Symbolically I know what my dream means, but it was so vivid that I'm afraid it might turn into reality to a certain extent in the future. Then again, I only have prophetic dreams about love, so I've got high hopes that this won't come true.

I'll be off now. I've been up ever since 12:40 trying to clean my room and I'm rather tired. The bad news is that I've got class in an hour. Oh well.