Anybody Home?

Hey guys,

This blog needs attention. How are you Tissue Poets? :)

xxx,
K<3

Love

Love could mean a lot of things to different people. It could mean security to some. Comfort to others.  Whenever I think of love I think of mother Theresa and how she said that love is of pain.

“I love you…” these words echoed in my head as the ringing continued. He did it again. I was half awake when his hand landed quite aggressively on my right ear. It echoed continuously as my ear began to ring from the hard smack I got so early in the morning. “I love you.”

A lot of people have told me I trust to easily. A kiss on the forehead, “stand against the wall,” he said. A hard hit on my stomach. He smiled. “I love you.”

A slap on my left cheek. Hard and crisp and unexpected. “I’m doing this because I love you.”

Something flew. I hide in my room. It hits me. Black, blue, purple, and green on my right leg. “ I love you.”

Love comes in different forms and sizes. I grew up with fairytales. And it was conflicting to grow up with such love existing and my kind of love existing in one universe. I realized that my love was real, and that it was pure. And that the pain was necessary to make me better. Make me strong. That was love for me.

And I was wrong. The bruises will fade. The scars healed. But the heaviness in my heart grows. Troubling. What is love? And where does it come from?

A crying woman, in pain, and dying. I was not moved. She whispered, “I’m sorry.” And the line went flat.

And I said, “I love you too.”

xxx, 

K <3

P.s

Take it as you read it. 

How She Made Me A Liar

This is how the text conversation went:

Her (H): UR A BIG LIAR

Me (M): Excuse me?

H: I know *insert daughter's name* s der.

M: She isn't.

H: Really? We wil see.

M: I can't change you of your beliefs. But don't accuse people they are liars. It simply isn't done. And its rather rude. I'm sorry if I am sounding a little off my manners here but you, texting me, quite early at that, and telling me I'm a liar is wrong.

H: I know u mean well letting her stay wit  u. But pls b honest f she's der or not. Bcuz f not, her boyfriend s lying wid us 2. Pls don't let *name* manipulate us all. Wer just concernd. Tnx.

M: I'm sorry. I'd rather not tarnish what little left of my dignity and reputation. In that note, I'll stoptexting too, like I stopped texting/taking *name*'s calls.

~~~~~texts stops for minutes~~~~~~


H: So, pls tel me wats d name f ur friend where *name* stayd? I need 2 know.

H: Give me ur frend's name or else we will c 2 it dat *name* will stay wid u.

M: Please. Just stop. You don't even have your facts right. I'm not judging you. But, first you accuse me of a liar. Now you are saying its not my house but my friend's. See, where is the logic in this argument?

Please don't threaten me like this. I highly respect you. But shouldn't you be talking to your daughter instead of harassing me with your slanders.

H: I know she contacted u & I have gatherd dat she's mentioning ur name 2 dos am talking 2. Sori, but am so angry right now!




****This is  posted for transparency. I don't get how just cause the boyfriend called the parents immediately I am the liar. And secondly, I've known this girl for half a decade now, this is the first time it happened, also she happens to be dating that guy, so why couldn't they figure the guy as the liar? Thirdly, why don't they ask the girl? She told me she was texting her dad. Was she lying to me too?

Trust is the most valuable commodity in the society. I won't ruin trust just to protect people. I am raised with values.

Not sure what I feel.

xxx,
K <3

Regarding Kleenex and Pregnancy

Dear Kleenex,

 Know that no matter what you choose to do with this situation, I am here supporting you and I won't judge you. It'd be cool if this was just a false alarm, but if it isn't, I'd like you to remember that your body is yours and that whatever you do with it is your business and not anybody else's. Choose what you think you can handle. Can you handle being a mother now, or can you handle the possible outcomes of an abortion? Also, with the Philippines being a fundamentalist Catholic country, you'd have to look for an abortionist very discreetly. I'll be willing to help you find one if you must do it. I am your friend. All I want for you is to be safe and that you make the decision carefully in the end. I really hope this is just a pregnancy scare as I wouldn't want you to have to go through all this. I love you, and I'm here to support you. Never forget that. 

Love,
Chihiro

Neglected

This blog has not seen a post for quite sometime now. So I'm dropping one now. :)


Its defense week. :) I still haven't finished my business plan (which I will defend on Thursday.) Its okay I guess, I have the most awesome adviser. She doesn't advise. Nor does she teach. She gave me an outline just so I have an idea on what I'm doing and because I'm a ninja I googled. LO AND BEHOLD, she just got it online. What the hell. I'm starting to doubt the education system of this country...

Its almost October. :) I have seminar end of the month. My grandmum's birthday is also on October. And its the dreaded month of sembreak. (which is really just a week for enrollment.)

xxx,
K<3

In the next future

Hi guys,

I can almost feel the end of college. (Three cheers!) Its these kind of cramming moments where you wake up at wee hours to finish your required work that I will miss. I will keep this short because I have a class in an hour or so and I still haven't done any of my preparations (like change my school books from yesterday's class to today's lecture handouts.)

In the event of that very near future let's all go out and travel. (And by we I do mean us three!) Why? Because we've never done it. And because its a start of a new adventure and I propose we do it with heaps of swag.

I happened to chance upon this photo will checking one of my friends blog's. (I don't think the photo is hers, I think its one of her friends' photo.) We can start with this since its considerably near, just a few hours ride. :) It would just be like going out to party in the city except overseas. :)

yes! those are candies growing from a tree, and they look so adorable!

It would be wonderful if we all did something spectacular soon! :)

I should drag my ass to school now. :) Love you heaps!

xxx,
K <3

Constant Denial

I suppose you guys have learned of my facebook page's deactivation. There are numerous reasons for that, but its primarily just the "escape." Escape sums all the excuses for its (what's the term?) I dunno what to call it, for its death. LOL

Escape what? You might ask, for starters there is a bitch of a person that I don't know who keeps sending me messages. And in some other more developed countries I believe its harassing when people do that. In most cases they would press charges, but in this country because we are so jolly and accommodating we don't do that. We only ignore things even if you get harassed by malicious content. I'm quite the little borderline sexually perverted kid, so when I say its filled with malicious content I do mean just that.

Excuse number two (2), I am escaping the contact. I'm usually always on Facebook, if I'm not in front of a computer, my mobile keeps me connected through the social media. I don't want people to reach me. If you're asking me which people I'm talking about. There's the number one person, which I have freely forgiven, as to the acceptance of the forgiveness I'm not too sure. Then there's the number two, a group of people that I later found out to be unworthy of trust. Sure, they can contact me via mobile. BUT, of course text messaging is a two way street, and unlike Facebook messaging there is not a green dot that tell people you are active and you are truly online. They can only hope that I got the message and pray in all their hearts that I respond. (Now ofcourse, I do not. I don't even take calls from school especially before 8am and past 5pm; and in extreme cases at noon.)

Excuse number three (3), the general detachment from everyone. Excluding you guys of course, since I love you all and I always keep you posted. :) Its just right now I don't want anything or anyone to influence anything in me. I just see random things posted by random people in Facebook and it hits me, and that's just very much a big deal for me. It makes me want to do the most random things saps would do. Like oh, I don't know, cry maybe?

Facebook is a waste of my time, I look at it in this way, if I stop using Facebook I can use my free time to study and focus on more trivial matters. I can socialize by seeing people and not by clicking keys and looking through a screen. It leads to a more personal relationship. HOHOHOHO.

I'm not saying its hard, I have to constantly deny myself of re-activating my account just so I can give myself momentary satisfaction and know what's happening with most people I care about and can only contact through the social network. (which also leads us to excuse number (4), the craving to know what goes on into other people's lives, and to stalk their every update.)

It will be for the best I guess. It has to be.

xxx,
K <3

Law and Marketing

I was privileged enough to meet Mr. Alexander Flores, an entrepreneur (like my major), a broadcaster, a speech and drama major (just to list a few things I know about him.)

I talked to this guy for about 3 hours, where we discussed career, love life, politics, the past and the future. He gave me advise, what I should focus on, which path I should take.

An inspiration struck me not long ago. While I was studying for my law exam, a law major gave me reviewers and it hit me, "hey! this is not at all too hard for me!" And with that idea I realized maybe it won't be such a bad idea to take up law as a second degree with Thea studying philosophy or whichever it was (I forgot) and possibly with her boyfe in law.

Now, this guy- Alex, told me that the heart of my major is marketing. I kind of agree with him since all parts of my business plan is somehow in marketing. (Technically speaking business planning is marketing in one word, from choosing who you're gonna sell to where to how its all in the marketing.)

One thing that Alex said and hit me like a bull's eye is to focus in my career (that's why he told me to study marketing) and not my love life. He said that although I maybe smart and pretty that would all be no use if "uunahin ko ang kalandian" to quote him. I would ruin my chances. He asked me if I had a boyfriend and said that although there is nothing wrong with having a boyfriend, it's not very useful for me in this state of time. He told me to stay driven and to keep a passionate heart.


I look into the future and it is not so dark anymore. It's finally taking shape. I think I know what to do now. What I'll do in the future. Its funny how it took me twenty years to stop being the same clueless little gurl I was.

xxx,
K <3

A forgiving heart

Good evening,

I'm sorry to have to do this but I lost your number accidentally.

Anyway just to express what I have to, I forgive you on all offenses. After long talks in and out of UST, I don't want to make my world smaller by shutting you out. I have realized how uneasy it makes me feel to be in certain places and situations. I figured it must be deep rooted. So in order to make peace and make things right I also ask for your forgiveness. Whatever tension there is between is needs to vanish. I think it was you asking for closure? Not sure. But yeah. So uhm, I'd wish you luck but seeing how I don't believe in luck, I hope you get blessed with whatever it is you are praying for.

Good night.

And so I realize that there is no reason for me to have panic attacks. I hope by forgiving him (via a message ^ that one.) I get to set my heart right. And I won't feel nauseous at his college. :)

xxx,
K <3

When Dreams Happen

You guys already know how I am with dreams, either I dream and don't remember it or I don't dream at all...


Remember that weird dream I had? It now has part two and three and even a preview of the previous one... I know. Creepy. (and I also accidentally texted somebody that I randomly stopped studying and writing when that happened... He was like, WHAT?! and I was also like, WHAT?!!!?)

So there, going out now.


xxx,
K <3

Bagong Love Story

May bago akong love story na ikkwento

Hindi mo pa naririnig ang storyang gaya nito

Walang Ibong Adarna,

Walang mamatay,

Happy ending kung mag ending.

Hindi naman ako isang stalker.

Hindi ko nga alam anong Facebook mo,

Kahit na sabihin natin, 

Na gusto na kitang makilala.

Hindi kaya ng puso kong ito.

Hindi naman ako nagtetext sayo.

Hindi ko nga alam anong number mo.

Kahit na sabihin pa natin,

Na gusto kitang kausapin 

Hindi kaya ng puso kong ito.

Isang dalagang nagnanais mapa-sa'yo

Isang dalaga lang naman ang tulad ko

Sino nga naman ba nanaising piliin?

Isang lalaking nakangiti

Isang lalaking hindi masasabi

Sino nga naman ba makaaalam ng aking damdamin?

Sa panaginip ko ,ikaw si Prince Charming

Pero mas bida ka do'n.

Sabay tayong lalaya sa pagkabihag.

Sa panaginip ko, ikaw ang dulong istorya

Pero sa tuwing malapit na ang true love's kiss

Saka naman ako magigising.

Isang dalagang nagnanais mapa-sa'yo

Isang dalaga lang naman ang tulad ko

Sino nga naman ba nanaising piliin?

Isang lalaking hindi ko pa masabi kung sino

Isang lalaki din ang bibihag sa puso ko

Sino nga naman ba ang darating sa aking bukas?

Alam ko lang ang love story na 'to ay may susunod pa. 

xxx,

K <3

insipid or inspired who cares? I just want to write. Do not go easy on me. Even if that was in native tongue one should still keep a sharp eye. There will always be room for improvement. 

Letting Go

I've been over and over this picture in my head,
Gone through every single detail of each scene.
Just standing there.
Rain falling down.
Watching you just fade away.

All the words unspoken,
All the words you've left unsaid.
I try to reach out my hand but I can't
I open my eyes and all I see is nothingness...

It hurts more than the throbbing needle on my vein
It hurts more than a liter of tears streaming bloodshot eyes
And I thought I'd be over crying by now
But I just can't let go of the moments that are gone.

I picture countless ways to end this story.
And I see how its possible that there won't be a sorry.
But its always gonna be one of us walking away.
And its always gonna be one breaking in the end.

Try to reach your hand.
Still can't see a new way out,
All the words are best left behind
We shouldn't have to go back.

Cause it hurts more than cold blood flowing down my vein.
Hurts more than unending tears streaming already bloodshot eyes
And I thought I'd be over breaking by now
But I just can't let go of moments that are gone.

Weird Dream Strikes Late at Night

I barely remember when was the last time I had a dream. (Its a given that everyone dreams about 4-6 times when they sleep but I don't recall most of mine anyway.) I had a dream. And its almost the most exact, precise, random thing on earth...

My dream was about a certain seafood, (you can ask me questions if you guys still don't know who I'm talking about.) whom I took time to avoid due to personal reasons. We don't talk anymore, or text, or call each other. We have simply stopped reaching out to each other. I don't keep his number, and he (I think) does not keep mine either (I reckon, maybe.) I am certain that I was not thinking about anyone before sleep. So it is a little too weird if you guys tell me that I am exhausting the idea of him.

My dream bordered on the extremes--- sex and abstinence. Which is also a weird theme cause number one (1) why would I be having weird fantasies about a guy whom I do not talk to anymore, and number (2) why would I have that as a general theme? Its a little too RH bill, and I was no where near that bill discussion lately...

I will now proceed to disclosing my dream... (not too sure about the order but I believe it went this way...)

I was with seafood, at a mall. Originally I thought I was alone, watching people skate (that narrows down the malls we were in) but something happened and suddenly he was there. We were talking about books, not sure why though, we never actually talk about books. Usually we would talk about his relationship problems, my culinary skills, and fashion (a common interest.) How I never maintained my own library instead I give them away after over exhausting them (or never reading them at all.) And then all of a sudden it was making-out-in-a-corner (which is weird cause there ain't no malls with a corner where noone can see you.) But it happened. With certain focuses on certain things. We were still talking, like discussing a crime in a hushed down tone. That's when I realized I was wearing UST AB's uniform. (TALK ABOUT WEIRD!) I have no intention of ever being caught dead in one, unless if its like me trying to cosplay as a UST kid which is rather unlikely if you ask me. And for the fear of getting caught (cause we were in a discussion and suddenly Chihiro's name was dropped in there, massive cover up of how she was skating.) we flee. He looks down at the rink (obviously looks like we were at MOA). Which would mean we were at the second floor. He only sees three skaters all females and asks me which is Chihiro. I see everyone's backs, and poof* there you are, but I didn't get to point you out. We fled, to what seems like a bazaar, he sat at a desk, the lady selling said the tour was starting, we ran to the vehicle after a long corridor of people selling, and come out at an alley that looks like the outside of a provincial filipino talipapa/ tiangge, I point out where the vehicle is, but we dodge that and ride a jeep instead. (I didn't have any money.) He  paid again. And then we left. The jeep was going to Amorante/ Amoranto? And something about novaliches was being discussed. We then see St. Louis a college in Baguio. There was a nun looking at me. 

My dream ends with an idea, given to me by a nun... (Although nuns exist, my religion does not actually believe in them or their use in the society, we do not pray to the Holy virgin mother of Christ.)

Pray together. Stay together. Abstinence. (words were not said, but the idea was clearly delivered to my head.)

Some details are missing in the story but I dunno, I remember them but I can't place them in the sequence.

Off to take my midterms now. :)

xxx,

K <3

In which Chihiro is momentarily distracted from responsibilities by a Japanese celebrity.

This will be a brief post because I am swamped with things to do. Anyway, more or less a month ago, Haku and I had a conversation about how we want to use each other's faces as our gender-bent characters' portrayers, and whilst I'm okay with that I know how difficult it is to assign IRL people as portrayers/PBs so we might as well find actors/actresses who look like us. So whilst I remained loyal to that idea, we decided to be open to the idea of finding actors who look even just a bit like us.

Today, I chanced upon a few pictures of Matsumoto Jun (松本潤). MatsuJun (松潤) was a huge crush of mine circa 2005/2006/2007, and I remember how I had to give way to the bandwagon when Arashi (嵐), his boy band, started to get famous in the country. Anyway, as I was looking for a new celebrity portrayer for my all-new gender bender academy character, I decided to Google MatsuJun and see if he would be a good portrayer. Here are some photos Google graced me with:

Okay, so you might not see it here yet...

Say, whose style does this remind you of?

Ohoho. Nice facial structure and smile, MatsuJun.

Muhurhur.

What makes all these even better is that, being a huge fan of Gokusen, I used to ship Shin Sawada with Yankumi. And guess who my high school classmates compared me to back when I was in high school. Granted, back then I wore my hair the same way and I had the same sort of glasses and lighter skin minus the current acne attacks I've been having so yeah.

I wanna look like her again gosh why am I so haggard-looking right now urgh unhealthy lifestyle cuneqpnf9w ;___;

Full lips always win.

I may be seeing what I want to see, but damn it give me this luxury just this once. It's been a stressful term.

Here's a picture of me when I still had long hair and ridiculously bright clothes:

[image removed]

I miss seeing my face. I miss it so bad. I must start working on a healthy lifestyle in order to fulfil my quest for the fountain of youth.

Thanking you for your consideration,
Wishing-She-Could-Be-Pretty-Again Chihiro

Five Mornings with Tears

Before you go on and think that this is a dramatic post and/or I'm about to rant about my non-existent love life, I will put an end to that train of thought. It is not about that...

Actually that's quite literal, here's my status report. (Physically.) I haven't gone out much lately. Just the normal buying food outside for five minutes. LOL But despite being heavily medicated (that is of course dripping with exaggeration) this irritation just won't go away. If anything its getting worse.

Every morning I cry, I'm not sure if its because I always end up sleeping on the left side of my face (which is where its swelling up) or if its actually because of the swelling up that's why its tearing up. But as the sun rises to its height it gets better, the swelling lets on (if not completely goes away.) I rest and be happy at night cause I am normal. And then come darkness, it swells while I am in the confines of my sleep.

Sigh, I am going to get another opinion on this supposed "minor" irritation. I have stopped taking medication. In the hopes that it gets better on its own without ointments choking the air out of it.

My sister is all better now (she also got the irritation only hers was severe and her medication was stronger.) Maybe I should get my hands on those drugs...

One thing, I really don't trust doctors from UST. :/ I have nothing against the education they had, but seriously, all the doctors from UST that I meet turn out to be either jerks or well in this case, like this doctor... (No words, but you get what I mean right?)

Passing time. Apparently my doctor goes to Alabang in the afternoon so I won't see him until later. :) I hold high respect and belief in him (new doctor) partially because I know he is not a Thomasino...

xxx,
K <3

Post Script (And I just would not type acronyms. LOL)
Dad's talking about me going to UST (again.) I quote, "Listen to me. *insert my real name*, just listen to me. Study at UST, you can take arts, anything..." unquote. What on earth? I do not want to go to UST. Especially not as a CFAD student.

The Superficial Dilemma of an Ex-Lolita

Lolita fashion used to be my thing back in the day. Back when people couldn't understand it, I was the one who wore it and flaunted it. (Hey Fluttershy and Kleenex, remember the weird stares we got in malls?) When I grew up and it became more popular, I guess you can say I started to hate it. Or at least, I started to hate how it got popular.

It's not that I've got hipster mentality. I'm just really selfish, that's all. So now that I want to go back to dressing up like a Lolita, I'm actually rather hesitant due to how popular it is. And I know this is just stupid elitism taking over me, but I can't help it. I like my individuality, thank you very much.

Meh, whatever. I will now just push myself to do my homework.

Ridiculously selfish about art and fashion,

Chihiro

Other Me

It keeps piling up like a tall white mountain
And its burning inside with the pain I keep hiding
It keeps pouring out
I'm certain I'm hearing something
Yes its crashing down
With another thunder clapping

Its not the same... But you don't see,
Another set of eyes looking back at you.
Its not, Its not the same...
But you wont feel the stinging lies it throws
Hidden inside, covered and buried
is the other Me.

Growing cold, standing still
The world's unshaken
Blow by blow I'm slowly falling apart
You tell me when its over,
You walk and begin to fade away.

CHORUS

I'll get up, I'll be fine
Hidden inside
I'll be better than ever before
The Other Me.

~Maybe I should give up on writing songs. I think I should focus on weirdly dramatic cliche plots? Hmmm... But I don't know.

xxx,
K <3

Want to Write Again

Hi guys!

So I realized, I can not stay away from the bright screen. :)) So no need for me to stop blogging. Currently trying to up my fashion blog's archive. I think that blog needs more options, direction, and choices.

Here's what I have been thinking, I have not written anything lately. Not even a school essay. I need a really good mentor to write again. I think. Its sad how when you write and you know its inadequate but your mentor would just shrug and say "Yes, this is good." or "This is perfect." I think no one would be able to better themselves if all mentors were like that... In my case all my mentors were like that. I mean I do study and I learned the best lesson when it comes to writing (which I will now share here)--- to be a writer one has to write. I think I learned that the hard way. I used to just think.

I'd stare at a blank paper and think. And I would think. And think and think. And reject that. In the end my not so good ideas that could possibly be great ideas were never written down. And so I learned to write. Anything on anything. Ideas. Emotions. Frustrations. Fears. Everything on anything actually. On paper that's clean, on paper with doodles and dirt. On cloth. On the wall. On the curtain. In my phone. Just writing.

But lately, I haven't. I have no notes in classes. I have no physical journal (I do read my previous ones and go, "wow, this was what I was like back then" or "so this is what I've been doing" or "I did this? Seriously? This is good.") I have not written anything lately. Not even a doodle on scratch paper when I'm bored in class. (Something I usually do. Is writing not a passion anymore? Can passions even fade away?)

I still believe that people will be judged by passion. And for someone as shallow and blank as I am. I fear. I long to write again.

xxx,
K <3

Why I'd love to be a waterbender.

Y'know, I'm supposed to be too tired for this, but fuck it I'm going to post anyway. Today I had to go to the city to check on the flat and then go skating with Haku. It was a very spontaneous plan so we only got to skate at around 6pm, and it had to be cut short at 8pm because of a hockey game. Because I'm a derp and I had completely forgotten to bring towels for my skates, I ended up having to buy soakers for the love of my skates' blades. So yeah, behold my ancient skates and its brand-new soakers.

For the record, I am not an animal print fan, but this was the only design available. Someday I hope to buy a completely trippy-looking soaker.

The mall time we had was actually really nice. We grabbed a snack at Chewy Junior (which I highly recommend if you're as into bread as I am) and then hung out at Fully Booked. We both didn't get anything due to financial restraints, but it was fun to browse through the books and leaf through the ones that had us getting sort of nostalgic about our childhoods.

We eventually had to leave at almost 10pm. Due to the heavy rain and the difficulty of commuting around Manila, we had to shell out cash in order to arrive safely at Taft. I had to pay the cabbie Php150 (around $3) when typically I'd only have to pay Php100 (around $2). It's just a small amount, I know, but the cost of living is rather expensive in Manila and so Php50 can actually get you a cheap yet proper meal. Oh, well. I was too tired to fight the cabbie, so I hope guilt eats him up someday.

Upon arriving at Taft, Haku and I decided to just wait the rain out at a 7-11. We soon met up with Prince of Persia so that Haku can have a place to stay until the rain subsides. Turns out it was completely flooded everywhere, so it was a good thing I had changed into my wellies before Prince of Persia arrived. For the first time, my boots were finally used in a flood situation.

My wellies. We're all forever indebted to Hoby of St. James's Street, London.

Once we all were finally outside Prince of Persia's flat, I decided to head to McDonald's so that it will be easier for our driver to pick me up. On my way there, I had to wade through ridiculous floods. Since it wasn't raining anymore, I decided to take pictures of the floods. The not-so-funny thing about this is that it wasn't even raining for hours; it only started raining (albeit heavily, though) at around 9:30pm and by 11:30pm Taft Avenue has been turned into the Taft Sea. Only in the Philippines, yeah?

Time to sing 'Under the Sea'!

Yep, I had to wade through this. Oh look, random plastic on the ground. I wonder why it gets flooded so easily in Manila.

Thankfully the driver wasn't one of those douchebags who'd speed by you and give you a free shower.

This was the road in front of McDonald's.

Ah, what an adventure! I will now try to sleep and dream of a Manila with good infrastructure, responsible citizens and a benevolent government. Bonne nuit! x

Completely exhausted with muscle pains but happy <3,
Chihiro

Huffed and Puffed Up Like A Big Bad Wolf

Hi Tissue Poets,

Just blogging while I still can. I'll go straight to the point...

I woke up from a rather short amount of sleep this morning (at around 3 or 4 am.) The reason behind my sudden eye opening is still a mystery. All I know is this, I felt a sort of tingling in my face. A coldness. Then a stinging pin-like pricking.

I was not at all bothered at first. I was thinking, "oh hey, the weather is all cold I'm experiencing this chill." I thought it would be those snow storm feeling outside New York when its winter. I went back to bed, and when I woke up a quarter of my face has swelled up. ( I ignored that again. Me and my sudden impulse to ignore things and control my body with my "strong will." )

Let's skip what I did for the most part of the day, which was eating and sleeping. So I woke up from my "rest" this afternoon and I felt my face numb. And when I looked at myself in the mirror--- half my face is huffed and puffed up like the big bad wolf in the Three Little Pigs before he blew the house down. Sigh. I feel terrible. And for reasons like I might not be able to blog for the most part of next week (emphasis on the might) I am blogging.

So there we go. :/ Hope everyone is doing well!

xxx,
K <3