I'm having a closer relationship with God these days. For the first time, I became preacher for a day :D I was a bit doubtful of my skills at first but I know God is with me in this. He won't put me in places that I cannot handle. So, yeah, I did a good job!!! :D <3
I've learned so many things from God these days. I think my prayer has already been answered a long long time ago but I was just blinded by my own actions, that I am unable to hear God's words. I've been praying for an answer if I should move on or not. Now, I realize I must...
I love this person so much. I really do. This is Baka-sama, as you know him. I never thought that I be able to have strong feelings for a particular guy. I have been longing for him for these past two years now. God has answered my prayer. At times, the things that we want are not given to us no matter how much we ask or how much we pray for it. It is not because God doesn't want us to be happy, the truth is He WANTS us to be happy. He might not give it to you because of two things:
* That blessing is NOT good for you FOR THE MOMENT.
* That blessing is NOT good FOR YOU AT ALL.
Well, I guess it is just a plain sight to see, that it is not meant to be. But I will forever hold him in my heart. I am touched, though. It's because of the drawing that I gave him. He actually used it as a design on his clear atachi case (whatever you call that thing which you can place your folders and knick knacks.) He placed it there where anyone can see it if he pulls it out. Whatever the reason, it does not matter anymore. I have already decided to follow God's path for me.
It is not friendship I am after but something more in our case. Since I love this person, I know for now I cannot be his friend, I repeat for now... I've taken another section where he is not my lab mate. So, I would see him less (mostly on lecture classes). A very good thing. If he ever finds a new girl I know I would cry but what I really wish is that when he does, I want this attraction, love or whatever you call it, to have faded away. Yes, I wish I no longer have any feelings for him when the time comes.
So guys keep me strong. I know God is beside me (everyone of us, too :D) always. But I also want my friends to be with me on this. For I know the heart is weak and very deceitful, that the line "follow your heart" IS NOT applicable anymore.
Yes... I'll miss him...
Guys, I changed our blogs design. Newbie changing design, you know with the templates and help and all lol. Anyway you can change it if it does not suit your taste.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, love. We'll be there for you. I believe in your strength, but I want to be another tree beside you like how you've been one for both me and Kleenex. In times like this, when we're all faced with a struggle, the best thing we can do is to stand our ground and hold on to each other. There's much strength in unity.
ReplyDeleteI love and miss you guys! :-)
Awww, its the cutest. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd sweetie we got your back, don't worry. I can not wait to see you. Even if it means going on a road trip to LB on public commute and prolly getting lost, of course, I'll bother Chihiro to get lost with me (if she would be since she has a good sense of direction, she'd be like a talking walking compass which is more awesome than it should be.)