Forgotten. Forsaken.

Ignore me. I'm not here. This is just a random graffiti on a wall (in this case cyberspace, but really you get the point right?)

Its been a long time since I last wrote on this wall... On any wall except two social networking sites (i.e, Facebook and Twitter) and sometimes a blog which is all about fashion so I can't really rant there (Tumblr.) I've been on a lot of ups and downs these past few days. I keep saying "I'm so tired I feel like I wanna vomit." and usually I would get the response, "Are you pregnant?" Seriously? If I was to get pregnant I'd have to fvck someone first. Excuse me for my French it just frustrates me when people do that to me. SERIOUSLY?! I mean I get it that one time in high school when I was totally sick and I just kept vomiting and they ruled out food poisoning, I get that they would assume the worst first. (And quite frankly it was a mortifying question yet it was funny in some sense.) But I'm going astray.

There are a lot of ups these past few days, but each up came with its counter part which is down. (Sorry if you got disappointed by that one, but I'm one who believes that everything comes in pairs, i.e, good and evil, black and white, dark and light... you get the point, right?)

UP#1
Photoshoot "Sari" - the fun part about this is that I love photo shoots, it gives me a thrill. There's a certain excitement for me when I get dressed up and dolled up and get photographed. Its amazing for me. Especially if the photographer gets you excited and gives you good feedback. And in this case the photographer looked very happy with the shots (maybe because its his first photo shoot but still his face encouraged me to step up my game.)
DOWN #1
 I lost some of my accessories to this shoot, another downer (which makes it Down #2) I got a mad sun burn. I do know where my accessories went, let's just hope that she gives it back to me for the love of anything and everything that is holy, why does she need to give it back? Cause its not just petty theft. ITS GRAND THEFT. She took a whole bag. So that totally made me down.

UP #2
Our fashion show was a hit, and I had a lot of good feedback from not just the audience but from people that mattered. Like the school director (directress actually) I did not even know she was watching so I was stunned to silence (which rarely happens) when she congratulated me when I walked out of the event. It was a good ego boost and popularity boost for me, which is a good thing cause I'm having insecurity issues (hence the "am I not good enough?" issues I'm having) lately. Suddenly it all got washed away. Its a nice feeling to know that you are appreciated for your worth every once and a while.
DOWN #2 
There were outsiders on the backstage and I felt like I was sabotaged for the first part of the show, this girl stole my PAs and I was dying getting ready all alone in under a minute, I was dead alright. And when I asked her if she already went on (because I go on before her) she said yes, and the director was like "sige ikaw na, go" and then when I went out another model went out, luckily we winged it, which is why I have eternal gratitude for him. (People also like how we managed that situation. :) so I think thats a good sign. We turned something bad into positive vibes. And of course since that was a fashion show, we had to get dressed backstage... the outsiders. My oh my, I'm not sure if they saw anything, but I think they did. So the smiles they gave me after the show, I don't know if it was just for a job well done or if it was for what they saw.

UP #3
This is pretty shallow, guy, ehem (emphasis on him being cute) asking me how I am and telling me I look pretty. Okay, so remember I am having insecurity issues, and when he said that I looked beautiful and then took my picture, I have to admit I was flattered and it really made my day.
  DOWN #3
I still feel bad about the guy who shall not be named. :(

UP#4
Photographing an event, and getting a fan shirt. :D I am not the avid fan girl type, but for the sake of this 3 man band called Lem's guitar, I am willing to go FAN GIRL on them. They just have that awesome vibe to them that makes me go, "happy happy joy joy" carefree and on high. Do you know that feeling? He also gave me a shirt. And he was the one who said let's take a picture together. :) And they're just a group of fun people. You'd love being around them.
DOWN #4
I had to lie and sneak out.  

UP #5
I know I said that I will not get involved in the politics of the school. But I got drafted to run for the organization leaders. Which is awesome cause I get to meet all this people outside of school. People that matter, I hope I reach one of the higher ranks, I don't want to be a secretary or a treasurer (cause money is such a hard thing to handle.)  Another up worthy here is that (let's call her) Ambitious, did not get elected, apparently only her classmates and the first years voted for her she needs more than half to be president. I mean the entire crowd almost went on Juelga, we were already planning her impeachment if she got the benchmark of 50% +1. We are just happy that they decided to let the position be open for next school year. :)
  DOWN #5
I missed going to an event. And I promised I would go. Just for the sake of my personal career advancement. Do you think I made the right choice? Oh well... Nothing to be done now. :(

So there you have it, some of the highlights of my life. I started writing this with a hint of sadness, but remembering those ups suddenly made me happy. I don't even care about the downs. I have dealt with the consequences. Like dad getting upset for me taping Unang Hirit he was scolding me for days. But its all better now.

xxx,
Kleenex