It will not come as a surprise when I say that I have been playing the part of a young adult for five days now. Yes, it is true. I have left that stage of teen aged life filled with fun and carefree vibe. A phase where I could not care less of what happens to the world. Now of course I am not exactly "uncaring". (Long talks on economy and politics and the world would go here but thats not the point.)
So what is the point? The point is simple (although it will not be a hard hitting expose on maturity.) I can no longer be a clueless teenager who uses my age as an excuse to walk around in the world acting all dramatic. I have to own up to my actions now. I know I should have started owning up to my actions years ago, but being the youngest of three, I kind of got used to the point-you-finger-to-your-older-sister-and-smile. I could get away with murder if I did that. And a lot of people hated me for it.
What is it like to be a grown up? Growing up is a state of mind, but let's just set parameters here, the grown up part I am talking about is, me being 20 and not prefix-teen. As the clock struck 12 on the 21st of March I was fast asleep. But soon after it was like my body telling me that I have aged a year ( the love-hate part about birthdays, its an annual thing) I woke up, and I couldn't sleep. And what does one do when she wakes up in the middle of the night? (Technically its the beginning of a day but whatever that's what people say so let's just go with it.) She could eat (which I did.) She would check her phone (which I also did.) And she would go on every known social media in the world (facebook, twitter, tumblr, etc,.)
I feel like its a good year for me, but I don't know if its just me, this year I felt alone. For the most part of the day it was true, no dinner together with my family (at least not the whole lot of my family which consists of parents and two sisters.) No party with my friends. Sure I did get a lot of greetings. Maybe its superficial, but I felt a hint of sadness, of loneliness, of emptiness. There was a hollow in my heart. (no talks about the heart and tear jerking here I promise.) I guess that's how people feel when they age? I don't know I'm new at this.
I spent my day alone. And then I met with my students. Who are children with issues like being an army brat or a rich brat or just a brat, or a bully, personally I think they have shallow excuses and are just plain rude, but I believe I will learn to handle people here I mean if you can make a brat listen to you for half an hour I think you can sweet talk your way to the president's ear.
The following day was the same as my birthday, people greets me happy birthday via whatever medium, I still am alone, then I teach a class. That was the same for the remainder of the week up until the weekend.
The changes were basic, I get scolded more often by my parents now. My other relatives pressure me to get my grades up because apparently 2.0s are Asian Fs. (Really funny) And then there's grade-buying which is very tempting but I don't know. I feel like my 2.0 is enough. (You should here my professors do sales talk, this would convince you they belong in the college of business even if they suck at teaching.) And then there's also sucking your way to get a higher grade. :/
Highlights (cause those sound really depressing), I created a group (which I feel would be just snakes hanging around waiting to poison you) called vente, its just a crowd of 20 year olds hanging together then it started raining and we had no choice but to chill together and just talk.
Another thing is watching Hunger Games, when I heard about it I was quite excited actually, and it didn't disappoint.
Going to church was also good. Although I felt like God's answer to my prayer was quite odd, the answer was simple and direct "don't compromise" I just didn't know what He was talking about. Don't compromise what? And I have been praying for my heart, my ever troubled heart. What does that mean? Sigh... Its just confusing at times really.
So that's what I have been doing.
xxx,
K <3
Sunday 25 March 2012
Of Filipino Hunger Games and Crazy Friendships
Yesterday, I watched The Hunger Games with three of my friends: Haku, Weirdo and Persephone. All three of them are more or less Tributes (meaning, in this context, huge fans of the trilogy) but I honestly didn't care much for THG. I mean, I've read a few bits from the first book and I know a lot about it because of my Tribute friends, but beyond that I never really bothered getting into the fandom out of the fear of disappointment (due to its popularity) and my anti-mainstream mentality. I wasn't even planning on watching it until Haku asked if I wanted to watch it with Weirdo and Persephone. I was rather apprehensive at first, but it stars Jennifer Lawrence (who's one of my favourite actresses) so I thought, 'Why not?' I'm really glad I said yes, though, now that I've actually watched THG and is on my way to becoming a Tribute.
Yesterday afternoon didn't exactly begin nicely—it was raining when Haku and Weirdo picked me up at the flat, and due to the heaviness of the rain we got soaking wet when Haku fetched me in front of my building to walk me to the car with an umbrella. We then headed for the mall where Persephone was waiting for us, but it took us a while since it was rather hard to see through the rain, plus the heavy traffic wasn't helping at all. We eventually got there, with Persephone giving us food once she got in the car because she figured we'd be hungry after all that driving. I vaguely remember Haku or Weirdo responding with, 'Well, that's how we prepared ourselves for Hunger Games. We got ourselves hungry!'
The ride from the mall we picked Persephone up to the mall where we were supposed to watch THG was pretty much insane. I can't remember much of what we talked about, but I do distinctly remember Weirdo pointing out his school to us at some point. By the time we got to the mall, the pitter-patter wasn't so bad anymore, but it was already rather late so we just decided to watch a 7:30pm showing of the film and eat dinner beforehand. We had dinner at Bigoli, in which we all ordered pretty much the same thing—pepperoni pizza with Spaghetti Bolognese. Weirdo ordered a plate of Stromboli for all of us to share which I didn't get to eat because I was already full. Then I had a communal black grape shake which everyone loved. Whilst waiting for time to pass we just trolled Haku until we decided to go check the bazaar out. Weirdo and Persephone witnessed a shop owner throw a tantrum whilst I longed for a pair of yellow and brown studded shoes. Soon enough we decided to head to the theatre, which was actually rather packed with people. Sometimes I really can't help but marvel at how there really are so many people in the world. I guess growing up in a small town in which almost everyone is connected to each other (by acquaintance or by blood) does that to you.
I was expecting disappointment and perhaps me going like, 'Oh it was a cool movie,' but I ended up wanting immediately to read all the books after we watched the film. Haku and I couldn't help but close read the film whilst Persephone and Weirdo close read our close reading. We stayed for a while at this store that sold really cool toys, then afterwards we just walked around the place whilst we talked about the film. Haku and I even talked of how THG could be our generation's 1984 due to the Orwellian themes in it, plus it's just so socially relevant that I couldn't help but analyse how it was, in many ways, a socio-political commentary whether it was Suzanne Collins's goal when she wrote the books or not.
We ended up driving to Persephone's place, in which during the car ride we talked about how the rest of the world could probably be like if America had turned into Panem. We then discussed the Hunger Games in a Filipino context, and we came up with a few things that would make the Filipino Hunger Games epically 'Filipino'. For one, the sponsors would have a lot of product placement during the span of the show. Commercial breaks would last longer than the show itself, and instead of having real weapons to use against each other the Tributes would be given items like beer bottles, icepicks, forks, Magic Sings etc. The use of dramatic dialogue will also have the the Filipino audience pining for the Tributes. Instead of Pita (the Filipino Peeta) calmly telling the audience that he loves Katnis (the Filipino Katniss lol), Pita would go like, 'Hindi ko na kayang itago ang nararamdaman ko para sa'yo, Katnis. Bakit hindi mo maunawaan? Ikaw lamang ang gusto ko! (I can't hide my feelings for you any longer, Katniss. Why can't you understand? You're the only one that I want!)' I can actually imagine that instead of wolves/Mutts attacking them in the end, they would be attacked by 'askals' (The Filipino term for stray dogs) and once they defeat the askals they'll be allowed to cook and eat them.
At Persephone's place, Weirdo and Persephone watched The Book of Mormon whilst Haku and I played Kokology. After watching and Tumblr-ing for quite a while, Weirdo and Persephone ended up joining us. We all came up with pretty trippy answers, with Haku and I trying to out-weird each other, and Weirdo winning due to how epically absurd his answers were. We were all really tired when we decided to call it a night, but we can't deny that we all had a lot of fun. Persephone even spoke of how we should do stuff like that more often. I completely agree with Persephone. Thank God for socially relevant works of literature like THG and friendships like this. Despite the rainy day, those two things turned the day into a 'sunny' one for us.
Yesterday afternoon didn't exactly begin nicely—it was raining when Haku and Weirdo picked me up at the flat, and due to the heaviness of the rain we got soaking wet when Haku fetched me in front of my building to walk me to the car with an umbrella. We then headed for the mall where Persephone was waiting for us, but it took us a while since it was rather hard to see through the rain, plus the heavy traffic wasn't helping at all. We eventually got there, with Persephone giving us food once she got in the car because she figured we'd be hungry after all that driving. I vaguely remember Haku or Weirdo responding with, 'Well, that's how we prepared ourselves for Hunger Games. We got ourselves hungry!'
The ride from the mall we picked Persephone up to the mall where we were supposed to watch THG was pretty much insane. I can't remember much of what we talked about, but I do distinctly remember Weirdo pointing out his school to us at some point. By the time we got to the mall, the pitter-patter wasn't so bad anymore, but it was already rather late so we just decided to watch a 7:30pm showing of the film and eat dinner beforehand. We had dinner at Bigoli, in which we all ordered pretty much the same thing—pepperoni pizza with Spaghetti Bolognese. Weirdo ordered a plate of Stromboli for all of us to share which I didn't get to eat because I was already full. Then I had a communal black grape shake which everyone loved. Whilst waiting for time to pass we just trolled Haku until we decided to go check the bazaar out. Weirdo and Persephone witnessed a shop owner throw a tantrum whilst I longed for a pair of yellow and brown studded shoes. Soon enough we decided to head to the theatre, which was actually rather packed with people. Sometimes I really can't help but marvel at how there really are so many people in the world. I guess growing up in a small town in which almost everyone is connected to each other (by acquaintance or by blood) does that to you.
I was expecting disappointment and perhaps me going like, 'Oh it was a cool movie,' but I ended up wanting immediately to read all the books after we watched the film. Haku and I couldn't help but close read the film whilst Persephone and Weirdo close read our close reading. We stayed for a while at this store that sold really cool toys, then afterwards we just walked around the place whilst we talked about the film. Haku and I even talked of how THG could be our generation's 1984 due to the Orwellian themes in it, plus it's just so socially relevant that I couldn't help but analyse how it was, in many ways, a socio-political commentary whether it was Suzanne Collins's goal when she wrote the books or not.
We ended up driving to Persephone's place, in which during the car ride we talked about how the rest of the world could probably be like if America had turned into Panem. We then discussed the Hunger Games in a Filipino context, and we came up with a few things that would make the Filipino Hunger Games epically 'Filipino'. For one, the sponsors would have a lot of product placement during the span of the show. Commercial breaks would last longer than the show itself, and instead of having real weapons to use against each other the Tributes would be given items like beer bottles, icepicks, forks, Magic Sings etc. The use of dramatic dialogue will also have the the Filipino audience pining for the Tributes. Instead of Pita (the Filipino Peeta) calmly telling the audience that he loves Katnis (the Filipino Katniss lol), Pita would go like, 'Hindi ko na kayang itago ang nararamdaman ko para sa'yo, Katnis. Bakit hindi mo maunawaan? Ikaw lamang ang gusto ko! (I can't hide my feelings for you any longer, Katniss. Why can't you understand? You're the only one that I want!)' I can actually imagine that instead of wolves/Mutts attacking them in the end, they would be attacked by 'askals' (The Filipino term for stray dogs) and once they defeat the askals they'll be allowed to cook and eat them.
At Persephone's place, Weirdo and Persephone watched The Book of Mormon whilst Haku and I played Kokology. After watching and Tumblr-ing for quite a while, Weirdo and Persephone ended up joining us. We all came up with pretty trippy answers, with Haku and I trying to out-weird each other, and Weirdo winning due to how epically absurd his answers were. We were all really tired when we decided to call it a night, but we can't deny that we all had a lot of fun. Persephone even spoke of how we should do stuff like that more often. I completely agree with Persephone. Thank God for socially relevant works of literature like THG and friendships like this. Despite the rainy day, those two things turned the day into a 'sunny' one for us.
Tuesday 20 March 2012
Journey to the Past...?
So as not to clog up this blog with my random short posts, I've decided to use my old blog again and I've changed the link back to the original one. :3 To be honest I'd really love to use "nearlyawitch" as my name, but then you guys are probably already at annoyed at how I seem to change blog names every two months here on blogspot so yeah. If you want my Tumblr links, please send me an email. If you haven't got my email address then you're probably not even supposed to be reading my blogs lol. (But thanks anyway, I guess...?)
So yeah, ciao!
Chihiro
So yeah, ciao!
Chihiro
Monday 19 March 2012
So I'll be starting a dreamcatcher collection.
If you find a store with dreamcatchers and stuff like that, please let me know. I also plan on making dreamcatchers then selling them. :-) Plus if you know anyone who needs healing through dreamwork, please do let me know. I am trying to raise funds for an independent tribal/folklore-inspired jewellery shop to help support my living. Thank you. :-)
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Sunday 18 March 2012
Ready-made-brownie mix Crinkles and Laughter
Often times I wonder what good things are made of. Like the stars, or dreams... Of course we all know what stars are made of (gases like helium..., and dust.) But dreams on the other hand, that's a different issue. Some claim that the thing you dream about is the last thing on your mind. Some say that these are wishes that your heart make when you are fast asleep. Dreams for others are an escape, to an alternate place other than their reality.
I really can't explain what all of the good things are made of. But Friendship, for today, I can sum it up by saying it is made of ready-made-brownie-mix crinkles and laughter. I really can not think of what friendship is (aside from it being a relationship based on trust and a good foundation of love.)
Friendships like these are rare. It is hard to find true fulfillment and contentment. But I suppose real friendship brings you joy, even if you only see them a few times a trimester. And you find laughter in every little thing, even if its making fun of yourself. Or just dusting of the flour and confectioner's sugar off your black clothing. :)
Ps I miss you Fluttershy. Hope you were with us, reunion us please? :D
Also posted pics here Chihiro, if you don't mind. :)) If you dislike it I'll delete it asap.
PPs
DELETED most of the pictures.
 |
| Mickey head shape crinkle :) Totally made me smile... |
Friendships like these are rare. It is hard to find true fulfillment and contentment. But I suppose real friendship brings you joy, even if you only see them a few times a trimester. And you find laughter in every little thing, even if its making fun of yourself. Or just dusting of the flour and confectioner's sugar off your black clothing. :)
 |
| Being a complete OCD, rolling crinkles into balls, and Chihiro putting them on the tray. |
 |
| with the final batch of the awesome crinkles... |
xxx,
K <3
Ps I miss you Fluttershy. Hope you were with us, reunion us please? :D
Also posted pics here Chihiro, if you don't mind. :)) If you dislike it I'll delete it asap.
PPs
DELETED most of the pictures.
Saturday 17 March 2012
Shy with a fresh hint of plurt :D
I guess being petite and having a baby face has it quirks... Still, I wish someone would think I'm mature enough. Sadly, only a few people know my serious and true to my age personality. Hehehe. One of friends, namely Angel, said "I wish you could show this side of you to other people a bit more. Not the facade you throw off."
The facade she is talking about here is my cute, child-like and bubbly personality. This also include my meek and introverted side. Sigh... As everyone knows you change your personality depending on the people who you are with. So, I guess, in public I really act like a child. But I actually like to do that. Hahahaha! It's nice to be mistaken for a freshman high school student even though I'm already a junior in college.
And lo and behold I can't believe I also have a flirty side??? That was a shocker to me :O I never thought some of my actions were flirty. My friend told me that guys really love teasing me because of my cuteness and reactions. At times, the other girls really think I'm flirting when I'm just being myself... OR does that mean I'm flirty!?!
Shy and flirty doesn't seem to mix for me =.=
Anywho... Being small and child-looking has its disadvantages, too. People think I'm not mature enough, fragile and what not. But I know my flaws and I understand if they think that way. I have a lot more things to improve about myself. So, first of on the list is CONFIDENCE!!!
Tease Tease Tease
I promise I will post a long cool blog post I promise... Since I really miss you guys, but right now I will get ready to go to Manila...
xxx,
K <3
Ps I realized yellow is so not the color for white, so now I'm sticking with plum. :)
xxx,
K <3
Ps I realized yellow is so not the color for white, so now I'm sticking with plum. :)
Friday 16 March 2012
Nyar nyar mode
I'm having a closer relationship with God these days. For the first time, I became preacher for a day :D I was a bit doubtful of my skills at first but I know God is with me in this. He won't put me in places that I cannot handle. So, yeah, I did a good job!!! :D <3
I've learned so many things from God these days. I think my prayer has already been answered a long long time ago but I was just blinded by my own actions, that I am unable to hear God's words. I've been praying for an answer if I should move on or not. Now, I realize I must...
I love this person so much. I really do. This is Baka-sama, as you know him. I never thought that I be able to have strong feelings for a particular guy. I have been longing for him for these past two years now. God has answered my prayer. At times, the things that we want are not given to us no matter how much we ask or how much we pray for it. It is not because God doesn't want us to be happy, the truth is He WANTS us to be happy. He might not give it to you because of two things:
* That blessing is NOT good for you FOR THE MOMENT.
* That blessing is NOT good FOR YOU AT ALL.
Well, I guess it is just a plain sight to see, that it is not meant to be. But I will forever hold him in my heart. I am touched, though. It's because of the drawing that I gave him. He actually used it as a design on his clear atachi case (whatever you call that thing which you can place your folders and knick knacks.) He placed it there where anyone can see it if he pulls it out. Whatever the reason, it does not matter anymore. I have already decided to follow God's path for me.
It is not friendship I am after but something more in our case. Since I love this person, I know for now I cannot be his friend, I repeat for now... I've taken another section where he is not my lab mate. So, I would see him less (mostly on lecture classes). A very good thing. If he ever finds a new girl I know I would cry but what I really wish is that when he does, I want this attraction, love or whatever you call it, to have faded away. Yes, I wish I no longer have any feelings for him when the time comes.
So guys keep me strong. I know God is beside me (everyone of us, too :D) always. But I also want my friends to be with me on this. For I know the heart is weak and very deceitful, that the line "follow your heart" IS NOT applicable anymore.
Yes... I'll miss him...
I've learned so many things from God these days. I think my prayer has already been answered a long long time ago but I was just blinded by my own actions, that I am unable to hear God's words. I've been praying for an answer if I should move on or not. Now, I realize I must...
I love this person so much. I really do. This is Baka-sama, as you know him. I never thought that I be able to have strong feelings for a particular guy. I have been longing for him for these past two years now. God has answered my prayer. At times, the things that we want are not given to us no matter how much we ask or how much we pray for it. It is not because God doesn't want us to be happy, the truth is He WANTS us to be happy. He might not give it to you because of two things:
* That blessing is NOT good for you FOR THE MOMENT.
* That blessing is NOT good FOR YOU AT ALL.
Well, I guess it is just a plain sight to see, that it is not meant to be. But I will forever hold him in my heart. I am touched, though. It's because of the drawing that I gave him. He actually used it as a design on his clear atachi case (whatever you call that thing which you can place your folders and knick knacks.) He placed it there where anyone can see it if he pulls it out. Whatever the reason, it does not matter anymore. I have already decided to follow God's path for me.
It is not friendship I am after but something more in our case. Since I love this person, I know for now I cannot be his friend, I repeat for now... I've taken another section where he is not my lab mate. So, I would see him less (mostly on lecture classes). A very good thing. If he ever finds a new girl I know I would cry but what I really wish is that when he does, I want this attraction, love or whatever you call it, to have faded away. Yes, I wish I no longer have any feelings for him when the time comes.
So guys keep me strong. I know God is beside me (everyone of us, too :D) always. But I also want my friends to be with me on this. For I know the heart is weak and very deceitful, that the line "follow your heart" IS NOT applicable anymore.
Yes... I'll miss him...
Wednesday 14 March 2012
I met my personal Yubaba.
Hello TPs and readers of the Tissue Poets' blog! I know I have neither responded nor posted in this blog for quite a while now, and I'm very sorry about that. It's been a bit of a tiring month, especially since it's almost finals week and we're all on the verge of seeking that pill from Limitless. (Speaking of which, I had the book before it was fucking cool! It's called The Dark Fields and it was written by Alan Glynn. Unfortunately, I sort of gave the book away to someone. Oh well whatevs.) Anyway, I hope you guys have been doing well and that you're not yet looking like a zombie like me. So much has happened during the past few weeks, but time is flying by so fast that I feel like I'm riding a winged rhinoceros and it just wants to throw me off its back. Ah, damn you university student problems.
So, Fluttershy, I'm glad to see you posting something more cheerful than usual. Same goes for you, Kleenex. Things seem to be looking up for the three of us, and I hope it stays that way. It's been a depressing first quarter for 2012, hasn't it? I hate saying this because it's such an overused friendship line but we're all in this together so I want you two to know that even if I don't comment on your posts or respond to your text messages I'm still here and that I'm probably not replying because my eyelids have become really heavy and just the struggle to keep on reading is enough to make my energy balloon go ka-boom.
I suppose I should end it here now, I think this is good enough to let you guys know that I'm still alive. I can't stop yawning, and I still have got to wake up at maybe 4 or 5 am tomorrow to revise my paper.
I'm really looking forward to experiencing summer. I am so going to get a tan, so fuck the things that have made me super pale.
So, Fluttershy, I'm glad to see you posting something more cheerful than usual. Same goes for you, Kleenex. Things seem to be looking up for the three of us, and I hope it stays that way. It's been a depressing first quarter for 2012, hasn't it? I hate saying this because it's such an overused friendship line but we're all in this together so I want you two to know that even if I don't comment on your posts or respond to your text messages I'm still here and that I'm probably not replying because my eyelids have become really heavy and just the struggle to keep on reading is enough to make my energy balloon go ka-boom.
I suppose I should end it here now, I think this is good enough to let you guys know that I'm still alive. I can't stop yawning, and I still have got to wake up at maybe 4 or 5 am tomorrow to revise my paper.
I'm really looking forward to experiencing summer. I am so going to get a tan, so fuck the things that have made me super pale.
As long as you love me :)
I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did as long as you love me :D
SPREADING THE LOOOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE <3<3<3
SPREADING THE LOOOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE <3<3<3
Saturday 10 March 2012
LAST DAY
Hey guys,
just dropping by to give you love. Its my last day of exams... And well next week, I'm free as a guy who broke out of jail and rolled around the mud three times. :) I still have to take one exam next week cause I'm a lazy ass like that and because I'm awesomely chill. I got a 2.0 in one of my classes (ehem business research.) It could have been better, but I'm only happy that it wasn't lower. :) I had wished to get a higher grade, I set goals for 1.0s only. I didn't meet it, and I can only blame myself.
Let's do our best guys! This is it. (I sound like I'm graduating.)
Much love,
K, xxx
<3Ps I'm dipping my toes in the lake of politics next semester and I fully expressed my intentions of doing so. :)
just dropping by to give you love. Its my last day of exams... And well next week, I'm free as a guy who broke out of jail and rolled around the mud three times. :) I still have to take one exam next week cause I'm a lazy ass like that and because I'm awesomely chill. I got a 2.0 in one of my classes (ehem business research.) It could have been better, but I'm only happy that it wasn't lower. :) I had wished to get a higher grade, I set goals for 1.0s only. I didn't meet it, and I can only blame myself.
Let's do our best guys! This is it. (I sound like I'm graduating.)
Much love,
K, xxx
<3Ps I'm dipping my toes in the lake of politics next semester and I fully expressed my intentions of doing so. :)
Wednesday 7 March 2012
Forgotten. Forsaken.
Ignore me. I'm not here. This is just a random graffiti on a wall (in this case cyberspace, but really you get the point right?)
Its been a long time since I last wrote on this wall... On any wall except two social networking sites (i.e, Facebook and Twitter) and sometimes a blog which is all about fashion so I can't really rant there (Tumblr.) I've been on a lot of ups and downs these past few days. I keep saying "I'm so tired I feel like I wanna vomit." and usually I would get the response, "Are you pregnant?" Seriously? If I was to get pregnant I'd have to fvck someone first. Excuse me for my French it just frustrates me when people do that to me. SERIOUSLY?! I mean I get it that one time in high school when I was totally sick and I just kept vomiting and they ruled out food poisoning, I get that they would assume the worst first. (And quite frankly it was a mortifying question yet it was funny in some sense.) But I'm going astray.
There are a lot of ups these past few days, but each up came with its counter part which is down. (Sorry if you got disappointed by that one, but I'm one who believes that everything comes in pairs, i.e, good and evil, black and white, dark and light... you get the point, right?)
UP#1
Photoshoot "Sari" - the fun part about this is that I love photo shoots, it gives me a thrill. There's a certain excitement for me when I get dressed up and dolled up and get photographed. Its amazing for me. Especially if the photographer gets you excited and gives you good feedback. And in this case the photographer looked very happy with the shots (maybe because its his first photo shoot but still his face encouraged me to step up my game.)
DOWN #1
I lost some of my accessories to this shoot, another downer (which makes it Down #2) I got a mad sun burn. I do know where my accessories went, let's just hope that she gives it back to me for the love of anything and everything that is holy, why does she need to give it back? Cause its not just petty theft. ITS GRAND THEFT. She took a whole bag. So that totally made me down.
UP #2
Our fashion show was a hit, and I had a lot of good feedback from not just the audience but from people that mattered. Like the school director (directress actually) I did not even know she was watching so I was stunned to silence (which rarely happens) when she congratulated me when I walked out of the event. It was a good ego boost and popularity boost for me, which is a good thing cause I'm having insecurity issues (hence the "am I not good enough?" issues I'm having) lately. Suddenly it all got washed away. Its a nice feeling to know that you are appreciated for your worth every once and a while.
DOWN #2
There were outsiders on the backstage and I felt like I was sabotaged for the first part of the show, this girl stole my PAs and I was dying getting ready all alone in under a minute, I was dead alright. And when I asked her if she already went on (because I go on before her) she said yes, and the director was like "sige ikaw na, go" and then when I went out another model went out, luckily we winged it, which is why I have eternal gratitude for him. (People also like how we managed that situation. :) so I think thats a good sign. We turned something bad into positive vibes. And of course since that was a fashion show, we had to get dressed backstage... the outsiders. My oh my, I'm not sure if they saw anything, but I think they did. So the smiles they gave me after the show, I don't know if it was just for a job well done or if it was for what they saw.
UP #3
This is pretty shallow, guy, ehem (emphasis on him being cute) asking me how I am and telling me I look pretty. Okay, so remember I am having insecurity issues, and when he said that I looked beautiful and then took my picture, I have to admit I was flattered and it really made my day.
DOWN #3
I still feel bad about the guy who shall not be named. :(
UP#4
Photographing an event, and getting a fan shirt. :D I am not the avid fan girl type, but for the sake of this 3 man band called Lem's guitar, I am willing to go FAN GIRL on them. They just have that awesome vibe to them that makes me go, "happy happy joy joy" carefree and on high. Do you know that feeling? He also gave me a shirt. And he was the one who said let's take a picture together. :) And they're just a group of fun people. You'd love being around them.
DOWN #4
I had to lie and sneak out.
UP #5
I know I said that I will not get involved in the politics of the school. But I got drafted to run for the organization leaders. Which is awesome cause I get to meet all this people outside of school. People that matter, I hope I reach one of the higher ranks, I don't want to be a secretary or a treasurer (cause money is such a hard thing to handle.) Another up worthy here is that (let's call her) Ambitious, did not get elected, apparently only her classmates and the first years voted for her she needs more than half to be president. I mean the entire crowd almost went on Juelga, we were already planning her impeachment if she got the benchmark of 50% +1. We are just happy that they decided to let the position be open for next school year. :)
DOWN #5
I missed going to an event. And I promised I would go. Just for the sake of my personal career advancement. Do you think I made the right choice? Oh well... Nothing to be done now. :(
So there you have it, some of the highlights of my life. I started writing this with a hint of sadness, but remembering those ups suddenly made me happy. I don't even care about the downs. I have dealt with the consequences. Like dad getting upset for me taping Unang Hirit he was scolding me for days. But its all better now.
xxx,
Kleenex
Its been a long time since I last wrote on this wall... On any wall except two social networking sites (i.e, Facebook and Twitter) and sometimes a blog which is all about fashion so I can't really rant there (Tumblr.) I've been on a lot of ups and downs these past few days. I keep saying "I'm so tired I feel like I wanna vomit." and usually I would get the response, "Are you pregnant?" Seriously? If I was to get pregnant I'd have to fvck someone first. Excuse me for my French it just frustrates me when people do that to me. SERIOUSLY?! I mean I get it that one time in high school when I was totally sick and I just kept vomiting and they ruled out food poisoning, I get that they would assume the worst first. (And quite frankly it was a mortifying question yet it was funny in some sense.) But I'm going astray.
There are a lot of ups these past few days, but each up came with its counter part which is down. (Sorry if you got disappointed by that one, but I'm one who believes that everything comes in pairs, i.e, good and evil, black and white, dark and light... you get the point, right?)
UP#1
Photoshoot "Sari" - the fun part about this is that I love photo shoots, it gives me a thrill. There's a certain excitement for me when I get dressed up and dolled up and get photographed. Its amazing for me. Especially if the photographer gets you excited and gives you good feedback. And in this case the photographer looked very happy with the shots (maybe because its his first photo shoot but still his face encouraged me to step up my game.)
DOWN #1
I lost some of my accessories to this shoot, another downer (which makes it Down #2) I got a mad sun burn. I do know where my accessories went, let's just hope that she gives it back to me for the love of anything and everything that is holy, why does she need to give it back? Cause its not just petty theft. ITS GRAND THEFT. She took a whole bag. So that totally made me down.
UP #2
Our fashion show was a hit, and I had a lot of good feedback from not just the audience but from people that mattered. Like the school director (directress actually) I did not even know she was watching so I was stunned to silence (which rarely happens) when she congratulated me when I walked out of the event. It was a good ego boost and popularity boost for me, which is a good thing cause I'm having insecurity issues (hence the "am I not good enough?" issues I'm having) lately. Suddenly it all got washed away. Its a nice feeling to know that you are appreciated for your worth every once and a while.
DOWN #2
There were outsiders on the backstage and I felt like I was sabotaged for the first part of the show, this girl stole my PAs and I was dying getting ready all alone in under a minute, I was dead alright. And when I asked her if she already went on (because I go on before her) she said yes, and the director was like "sige ikaw na, go" and then when I went out another model went out, luckily we winged it, which is why I have eternal gratitude for him. (People also like how we managed that situation. :) so I think thats a good sign. We turned something bad into positive vibes. And of course since that was a fashion show, we had to get dressed backstage... the outsiders. My oh my, I'm not sure if they saw anything, but I think they did. So the smiles they gave me after the show, I don't know if it was just for a job well done or if it was for what they saw.
UP #3
This is pretty shallow, guy, ehem (emphasis on him being cute) asking me how I am and telling me I look pretty. Okay, so remember I am having insecurity issues, and when he said that I looked beautiful and then took my picture, I have to admit I was flattered and it really made my day.
DOWN #3
I still feel bad about the guy who shall not be named. :(
UP#4
Photographing an event, and getting a fan shirt. :D I am not the avid fan girl type, but for the sake of this 3 man band called Lem's guitar, I am willing to go FAN GIRL on them. They just have that awesome vibe to them that makes me go, "happy happy joy joy" carefree and on high. Do you know that feeling? He also gave me a shirt. And he was the one who said let's take a picture together. :) And they're just a group of fun people. You'd love being around them.
DOWN #4
I had to lie and sneak out.
UP #5
I know I said that I will not get involved in the politics of the school. But I got drafted to run for the organization leaders. Which is awesome cause I get to meet all this people outside of school. People that matter, I hope I reach one of the higher ranks, I don't want to be a secretary or a treasurer (cause money is such a hard thing to handle.) Another up worthy here is that (let's call her) Ambitious, did not get elected, apparently only her classmates and the first years voted for her she needs more than half to be president. I mean the entire crowd almost went on Juelga, we were already planning her impeachment if she got the benchmark of 50% +1. We are just happy that they decided to let the position be open for next school year. :)
DOWN #5
I missed going to an event. And I promised I would go. Just for the sake of my personal career advancement. Do you think I made the right choice? Oh well... Nothing to be done now. :(
So there you have it, some of the highlights of my life. I started writing this with a hint of sadness, but remembering those ups suddenly made me happy. I don't even care about the downs. I have dealt with the consequences. Like dad getting upset for me taping Unang Hirit he was scolding me for days. But its all better now.
xxx,
Kleenex
Monday 5 March 2012
My Life is Disney.
Copy-paste from my Tumblr:
So this morning, Haku, Weirdo and I decided to have breakfast together at McDonald’s. Every moment I spend with these guys is actually worthy of being documented (speaking of which, remind me to start that ZAG blog soon) but I will document this one because it involved assigning our friends to their Disney Princesses counterparts.
Yep, you read that right.
I can’t really remember how this conversation started. I think it started because I was singing the Healing Incantation song and then I remembered how Postpunk and I talked about this Disney counterpart thing yesterday after we saw the shippy Tumblr post. So anyway, I’ll just skip to the part in which we finally found our friends’ Disney counterparts. If you don’t like your counterpart, then… you don’t like your counterpart. Yep. Cool, isn’t it.
PS
If you’re not in the list please don’t hold it against us, it just means we haven’t thought of your Disney counterpart yet. Sorry. :(
The List:
So this morning, Haku, Weirdo and I decided to have breakfast together at McDonald’s. Every moment I spend with these guys is actually worthy of being documented (speaking of which, remind me to start that ZAG blog soon) but I will document this one because it involved assigning our friends to their Disney Princesses counterparts.
Yep, you read that right.
I can’t really remember how this conversation started. I think it started because I was singing the Healing Incantation song and then I remembered how Postpunk and I talked about this Disney counterpart thing yesterday after we saw the shippy Tumblr post. So anyway, I’ll just skip to the part in which we finally found our friends’ Disney counterparts. If you don’t like your counterpart, then… you don’t like your counterpart. Yep. Cool, isn’t it.
PS
If you’re not in the list please don’t hold it against us, it just means we haven’t thought of your Disney counterpart yet. Sorry. :(
The List:
- Postpunk as Arielle from The Little Mermaid (Teenager with a rebellious personality, loves fish, eternally curious, has boobs lol)
- Mystique as Mulan from Mulan (Chiners, badass, breaks the stereotype, weirdo)
- Persephone as Pocahontas from Pocahontas (loves nature, fights for her advocacies, animals love her)
- Esmeralda (lol I haven't really given her a nickname before so this works) as the Asian version of Esmeralda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Her love of the Romani/bohemian lifestyle, not afraid of going after what she wants, independent—she has other friends, after all.)
- Athene as Belle from Beauty and the Beast (loves books, sacrifices herself too much, loyal, doesn’t judge people)
- Tinuviel as Princess Jasmine from Aladdin (Actually I don’t really know what Jasmine’s personality is like, but Tinuviel likes her so we just assigned her to Jasmine lol.)
- Delirium as… wait for it… Mushu from Mulan and Meg from Hercules (Apparently, Delirium makes a good troll character, so she’s going to be Mushu whilst Angie is Mulan. Cool, isn’t it? She’s also Meg because she gets to sing ‘I won’t say I’m in love’ lol. Besides, we really couldn’t find a Disney Princess who’s similar to her except for—in a way—Meg.)
- Boobs as… oh god this is another one… Ursula from The Little Mermaid (For the record, she’s a much hotter version of Ursula. We couldn’t pick a princess counterpart for her because she doesn’t really act like any of them, but we chose Ursula because she’s such a sexual character and Boobs can pull that off—what’s even better is that Boobs is hot so the sexual musical scene will be super effective. 8D)
- Me as Rapunzel from Tangled (Haku says that apparently I am Rapunzel lol. Let’s see: eternally curious teenager, dabbles into a lot of things due to boredom with a sheltered life, had long blonde hair which is now short and dark brown, bipolar, a girly tomboy if that makes sense, plus getting to hit Haku with a frying pan will be cool.)
Thursday 1 March 2012
A Letter of Gratitude
This is for you who put up with my selfishness, for you who didn't judge me even when I was at my worst.
You know how to put up with me at my worst, so you deserve me at my best.
I can't promise you that I can change overnight, but though I'm still evil to the rest of the world I want to be a good friend to you.
You deserve respect, and due to my selfishness I probably didn't give you that, but please do remember that I can only see you with admiration. It is no easy feat to handle a child, after all. Especially an evil one who's got self-destructive tendencies.
Thank you. All of you deserve more than a thank you, but for now that's all I can give.
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