As you guys know, last term I shifted from my old super political degree program to my current program (Which I may or may not name later... For now, let's call it the Wonderland degree program). Anyway, a friend (whom we shall call Mystique) visited me first thing in the morning and I was really happy to see her because I've missed her during the holidays and I know she's been worried about me. So we headed to the convenience store so I could get breakfast, then surprise, surprise—from her bag, three Crunch chocolate bars magically appeared. Apparently she decided to get one for me yesterday at the supermarket because she wanted to give me something that would help lift my depression. Haku and his brother (who will receive the alias 'Weirdo' lol) decided to get me Crunch chocolates as well because they're bloody fantastic like that. Mystique also gave me a shell necklace (I was so surprised that she 'knew' about my semi-closet shell-collecting thing) and a letter to go with it. Needless to say my morning started really well—in fact, it went so well that I actually had the guts to recite a lot in class despite being quite intimidated by my first class's professor.
Second class of the day made me feel less confident. Unlike my first class (which had more or less only twenty people) my second class was full of people who have taken major subjects before. Being a shiftee, I was the kid who's completely new to the program so there were some moments when I just gave the professor a blank stare or even the wrong answers when he asked the class questions. Plus, there was this girl who was giving me The Look (You girls know this) before class so I was wondering if I looked like such a total idiot. But oh, well, who cares? I don't even really care, but I'm just curious about why she gave me that look. And to be quite honest, it makes me feel proud when girls give me that look... 'Cause most of the time it means they're feeling rather intimidated by me. Well then, that's not my problem now, is it? So yeah, I suppose that class was okay... Not as good as how first class went, but still good enough for a total newcomer like me.
So after my classes, I went to eat somewhere at school with Mystique and a few other friends. Whilst eating, we just derped around whilst I read the book Pretty Girl (who's actually a boy) lent to me for the day. There was a lot of talk about periods, fetishes and other similar stuff. Pretty soon the hyper atmosphere died down, then Pretty Girl's girlfriend (whom we shall call Emma Frost lol) had to leave. Some of them left after a while as well, then I ended up meeting with a couple of acquaintan-friends at Coffee Bean before going to another place to eat dinner with Mystique, Haku, Kamen Rider and Trench.
Dinner was fun. It was absolutely derpy like most dinners I have with them, then later on Weirdo arrived a few minutes before Mystique, Kamen Rider and Trench decided to leave. I was left with Haku and Weirdo. After a few minutes of derping around we decided to have a few drinks and smoke at a place near the university. Well, let's just say that it was normal, I suppose, until Weirdo left. So it was just me and Haku again, like the last time I went to that place. Being not exactly sober, I said things I probably would've had a lot of difficulty saying. For one, I admitted to Haku that I compared him to Sherlock (who's like my absolute fictional crush) the first time I met him. Then I said many other things... things I can't even remember. But whatever it is that I said, I'm absolutely grateful that I did because I think it helps improve the communication between me and Haku. So I can't really complain, and I'm just so happy that things are going so well for us. Plus, he said things too, and though they're quite hazy in my mind right now I know that I'll keep them with me and that I'll really,
really cherish them.
I just hope he wasn't freaked out, because... I think tonight's the first night that I told him I love him without any of those sidequesting ways to say it. It just felt right and I don't regret saying it. I mean, I know that my feelings are beyond that but I can't really say 'My love for you is beyond words,' right? That's just worse and sort of frightening to say on my part. I think the simplicity of those three words and, paradoxically, the complexity of its meaning are good enough. After all, 'I love you' isn't cliché or cheesy when you really mean it. At least, that's what I think so. Plus, it doesn't help that I rarely say such things, and I probably wouldn't have done so without the influence of alcohol.
That's all for tonight as I'm really sleepy now. Good night, TPs and all dear readers. May you be filled with love every day.
xoxo,
Chihiro
