I'm not really sure what is going on with me. How I feel is a bit foreign, but its very similar to the familiar numbing pain that I have felt one or two times growing up...
I think I enjoy the pain, but at the same time I hate it. I don't know if that has ever happened to you guys but it happens to me all the time. I am desperate to break free from my usual pattern of happiness and pain, happiness and pain, happiness and pain, over and over constantly repeating like I had not learned a single thing. (And most of the times I feel like I haven't.)
Its just that, I feel like I haven't ventured out of my comfort zone. I go to the same places, see the same things, talk to the same group of people, walk on the same ground... I need to feel something new. I need to live. I need to find something that defines me and tells me that I am a human being and not just a programmed junk of metal designed to move (okay, I'm exaggerating, but you get my point.)
Everything here is a constant reminder of what I am going through and what I hoped it would be. And it just feels so frustrating and annoying.
Not to ruin your lives and future or anything, but it would be amazing if we could share a quarter or maybe half or even a whole year together in a totally unfamiliar place to all of us.
xox,
K <3
That's not gonna ruin my life. I'm up for that, although I don't think we'll be doing that anytime soon since we've all got university stuff. Maybe after graduation? Also, can I bring some of my non-TP friends? :D
ReplyDeleteOMG so I know this is so entirely late, but sure! :D Let's all go! And of course you can bring nonTP friends. :D I'm sure that would be awesome. :)
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