On no longer being a teen (birthday and everyday after)

It will not come as a surprise when I say that I have been playing the part of a young adult for five days now. Yes, it is true. I have left that stage of teen aged life filled with fun and carefree vibe. A phase where I could not care less of what happens to the world. Now of course I am not exactly "uncaring". (Long talks on economy and politics and the world would go here but thats not the point.)

So what is the point? The point is simple (although it will not be a hard hitting expose on maturity.) I can no longer be a clueless teenager who uses my age as an excuse to walk around in the world acting all dramatic. I have to own up to my actions now. I know I should have started owning up to my actions years ago, but being the youngest of three, I kind of got used to the point-you-finger-to-your-older-sister-and-smile. I could get away with murder if I did that. And a lot of people hated me for it.

What is it like to be a grown up? Growing up is a state of mind, but let's just set parameters here, the grown up part I am talking about is, me being 20 and not prefix-teen. As the clock struck 12 on the 21st of March I was fast asleep. But soon after it was like my body telling me that I have aged a year ( the love-hate part about birthdays, its an annual thing) I woke up, and I couldn't sleep. And what does one do when she wakes up in the middle of the night? (Technically its the beginning of a day but whatever that's what people say so let's just go with it.) She could eat (which I did.) She would check her phone (which I also did.) And she would go on every known social media in the world (facebook, twitter, tumblr, etc,.)

I feel like its a good year for me, but I don't know if its just me, this year I felt alone. For the most part of the day it was true, no dinner together with my family (at least not the whole lot of my family which consists of parents and two sisters.) No party with my friends. Sure I did get a lot of greetings. Maybe its superficial, but I felt a hint of sadness, of loneliness, of emptiness. There was a hollow in my heart. (no talks about the heart and tear jerking here I promise.) I guess that's how people feel when they age? I don't know I'm new at this.

I spent my day alone. And then I met with my students. Who are children with issues like being an army brat or a rich brat or just a brat, or a bully, personally I think they have shallow excuses and are just plain rude, but I believe I will learn to handle people here I mean if you can make a brat listen to you for half an hour I think you can sweet talk your way to the president's ear.

The following day was the same as my birthday, people greets me happy birthday via whatever medium, I still am alone, then I teach a class. That was the same for the remainder of the week up until the weekend.

The changes were basic, I get scolded more often by my parents now. My other relatives pressure me to get my grades up because apparently 2.0s are Asian Fs. (Really funny) And then there's grade-buying which is very tempting but I don't know. I feel like my 2.0 is enough. (You should here my professors do sales talk, this would convince you they belong in the college of business even if they suck at teaching.) And then there's also sucking your way to get a higher grade. :/

Highlights (cause those sound really depressing), I created a group (which I feel would be just snakes hanging around waiting to poison you) called vente, its just a crowd of 20 year olds hanging together then it started raining and we had no choice but to chill together and just talk.

Another thing is watching Hunger Games, when I heard about it I was quite excited actually, and it didn't disappoint.

Going to church was also good. Although I felt like God's answer to my prayer was quite odd, the answer was simple and direct "don't compromise" I just didn't know what He was talking about. Don't compromise what? And I have been praying for my heart, my ever troubled heart. What does that mean? Sigh... Its just confusing at times really.


So that's what I have been doing.

xxx,
K <3

Of Filipino Hunger Games and Crazy Friendships

Yesterday, I watched The Hunger Games with three of my friends: Haku, Weirdo and Persephone. All three of them are more or less Tributes (meaning, in this context, huge fans of the trilogy) but I honestly didn't care much for THG. I mean, I've read a few bits from the first book and I know a lot about it because of my Tribute friends, but beyond that I never really bothered getting into the fandom out of the fear of disappointment (due to its popularity) and my anti-mainstream mentality. I wasn't even planning on watching it until Haku asked if I wanted to watch it with Weirdo and Persephone. I was rather apprehensive at first, but it stars Jennifer Lawrence (who's one of my favourite actresses) so I thought, 'Why not?' I'm really glad I said yes, though, now that I've actually watched THG and is on my way to becoming a Tribute.

Yesterday afternoon didn't exactly begin nicely—it was raining when Haku and Weirdo picked me up at the flat, and due to the heaviness of the rain we got soaking wet when Haku fetched me in front of my building to walk me to the car with an umbrella. We then headed for the mall where Persephone was waiting for us, but it took us a while since it was rather hard to see through the rain, plus the heavy traffic wasn't helping at all. We eventually got there, with Persephone giving us food once she got in the car because she figured we'd be hungry after all that driving. I vaguely remember Haku or Weirdo responding with, 'Well, that's how we prepared ourselves for Hunger Games. We got ourselves hungry!'

The ride from the mall we picked Persephone up to the mall where we were supposed to watch THG was pretty much insane. I can't remember much of what we talked about, but I do distinctly remember Weirdo pointing out his school to us at some point. By the time we got to the mall, the pitter-patter wasn't so bad anymore, but it was already rather late so we just decided to watch a 7:30pm showing of the film and eat dinner beforehand. We had dinner at Bigoli, in which we all ordered pretty much the same thing—pepperoni pizza with Spaghetti Bolognese. Weirdo ordered a plate of Stromboli for all of us to share which I didn't get to eat because I was already full. Then I had a communal black grape shake which everyone loved. Whilst waiting for time to pass we just trolled Haku until we decided to go check the bazaar out. Weirdo and Persephone witnessed a shop owner throw a tantrum whilst I longed for a pair of yellow and brown studded shoes. Soon enough we decided to head to the theatre, which was actually rather packed with people. Sometimes I really can't help but marvel at how there really are so many people in the world. I guess growing up in a small town in which almost everyone is connected to each other (by acquaintance or by blood) does that to you.

I was expecting disappointment and perhaps me going like, 'Oh it was a cool movie,' but I ended up wanting immediately to read all the books after we watched the film. Haku and I couldn't help but close read the film whilst Persephone and Weirdo close read our close reading. We stayed for a while at this store that sold really cool toys, then afterwards we just walked around the place whilst we talked about the film. Haku and I even talked of how THG could be our generation's 1984 due to the Orwellian themes in it, plus it's just so socially relevant that I couldn't help but analyse how it was, in many ways, a socio-political commentary whether it was Suzanne Collins's goal when she wrote the books or not.

We ended up driving to Persephone's place, in which during the car ride we talked about how the rest of the world could probably be like if America had turned into Panem. We then discussed the Hunger Games in a Filipino context, and we came up with a few things that would make the Filipino Hunger Games epically 'Filipino'. For one, the sponsors would have a lot of product placement during the span of the show. Commercial breaks would last longer than the show itself, and instead of having real weapons to use against each other the Tributes would be given items like beer bottles, icepicks, forks, Magic Sings etc. The use of dramatic dialogue will also have the the Filipino audience pining for the Tributes. Instead of Pita (the Filipino Peeta) calmly telling the audience that he loves Katnis (the Filipino Katniss lol), Pita would go like, 'Hindi ko na kayang itago ang nararamdaman ko para sa'yo, Katnis. Bakit hindi mo maunawaan? Ikaw lamang ang gusto ko! (I can't hide my feelings for you any longer, Katniss. Why can't you understand? You're the only one that I want!)' I can actually imagine that instead of wolves/Mutts attacking them in the end, they would be attacked by 'askals' (The Filipino term for stray dogs) and once they defeat the askals they'll be allowed to cook and eat them.

At Persephone's place, Weirdo and Persephone watched The Book of Mormon whilst Haku and I played Kokology. After watching and Tumblr-ing for quite a while, Weirdo and Persephone ended up joining us. We all came up with pretty trippy answers, with Haku and I trying to out-weird each other, and Weirdo winning due to how epically absurd his answers were. We were all really tired when we decided to call it a night, but we can't deny that we all had a lot of fun. Persephone even spoke of how we should do stuff like that more often. I completely agree with Persephone. Thank God for socially relevant works of literature like THG and friendships like this. Despite the rainy day, those two things turned the day into a 'sunny' one for us.

Journey to the Past...?

So as not to clog up this blog with my random short posts, I've decided to use my old blog again and I've changed the link back to the original one. :3 To be honest I'd really love to use "nearlyawitch" as my name, but then you guys are probably already at annoyed at how I seem to change blog names every two months here on blogspot so yeah. If you want my Tumblr links, please send me an email. If you haven't got my email address then you're probably not even supposed to be reading my blogs lol. (But thanks anyway, I guess...?)

So yeah, ciao!

Chihiro

So I'll be starting a dreamcatcher collection.

If you find a store with dreamcatchers and stuff like that, please let me know. I also plan on making dreamcatchers then selling them. :-) Plus if you know anyone who needs healing through dreamwork, please do let me know. I am trying to raise funds for an independent tribal/folklore-inspired jewellery shop to help support my living. Thank you. :-)

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Ready-made-brownie mix Crinkles and Laughter

Often times I wonder what good things are made of. Like the stars, or dreams... Of course we all know what stars are made of (gases like helium..., and dust.) But dreams on the other hand, that's a different issue. Some claim that the thing you dream about is the last thing on your mind. Some say that these are wishes that your heart make when you are fast asleep. Dreams for others are an escape, to an alternate place other than their reality.

Mickey head shape crinkle :) Totally made me smile...

I really can't explain what all of the good things are made of. But Friendship, for today, I can sum it up by saying it is made of ready-made-brownie-mix crinkles and laughter. I really can not think of what friendship is (aside from it being a relationship based on trust and a good foundation of love.)

Friendships like these are rare. It is hard to find true fulfillment and contentment. But I suppose real friendship brings you joy, even if you only see them a few times a trimester. And you find laughter in every little thing, even if its making fun of yourself. Or just dusting of the flour and confectioner's sugar off your black clothing. :)

Being a complete OCD, rolling crinkles into balls, and Chihiro putting them on the tray.

with the final batch of the awesome crinkles...

xxx,

K <3

Ps I miss you Fluttershy. Hope you were with us, reunion us please? :D

Also posted pics here Chihiro, if you don't mind. :)) If you dislike it I'll delete it asap.
PPs
DELETED most of the pictures.

Shy with a fresh hint of plurt :D

I guess being petite and having a baby face has it quirks... Still, I wish someone would think I'm mature enough. Sadly, only a few people know my serious and true to my age personality. Hehehe. One of friends, namely Angel, said "I wish you could show this side of you to other people a bit more. Not the facade you throw off."

The facade she is talking about here is my cute, child-like and bubbly personality. This also include my meek and introverted side. Sigh... As everyone knows you change your personality depending on the people who you are with. So, I guess, in public I really act like a child. But I actually like to do that. Hahahaha! It's nice to be mistaken for a freshman high school student even though I'm already a junior in college.

And lo and behold I can't believe I also have a flirty side??? That was a shocker to me :O I never thought some of my actions were flirty. My friend told me that guys really love teasing me because of my cuteness and reactions. At times, the other girls really think I'm flirting when I'm just being myself... OR does that mean I'm flirty!?!

Shy and flirty doesn't seem to mix for me =.=

Anywho... Being small and child-looking has its disadvantages, too. People think I'm not mature enough, fragile and what not. But I know my flaws and I understand if they think that way. I have a lot more things to improve about myself. So, first of on the list is CONFIDENCE!!!

Tease Tease Tease

I promise I will post a long cool blog post I promise... Since I really miss you guys, but right now I will get ready to go to Manila...

 xxx,
K <3

Ps I realized yellow is so not the color for white, so now I'm sticking with plum. :)